‘He is not my husband, nor ever will be. He does not love me: I do not love him. He loves (as he can love, and that is not as you love) a beautiful young lady called Rosamond. He wanted to marry me only because he thought I should make a suitable missionary’s wife, which she would not have done. He is good and great, but severe; and, for me, cold as an iceberg. He is not like you, sir: I am not happy at his side, nor near him, nor with him. He has no indulgence for me- no fondness. He sees nothing attractive in me; not even youth- only a few useful mental points- Then I must leave you, sir, to go to him?’
I shuddered involuntarily, and clung instinctively closer to my blind but beloved master. He smiled.
‘What, Jane! Is this true? Is such really the state of matters between you and Rivers?’
‘Absolutely, sir! Oh, you need not be jealous! I wanted to tease you a little to make you less sad: I thought anger would be better than grief. But if you wish me to love you, could you but see how much I do love you, you would be proud and content. All my heart is yours, sir: it belongs to you; and with you it would remain, were fate to exile the rest of me from your presence for ever.’
Again, as he kissed me, painful thoughts darkened his aspect.
‘My seared vision! My crippled strength!’ he murmured regretfully.
I caressed, in order to soothe him. I knew of what he was thinking, and wanted to speak for him, but dared not. As he turned aside his face a minute, I saw a tear slide from under the sealed eyelid, and trickle down the manly cheek. My heart swelled.
‘I am no better than the old lightning-struck chestnut-tree in Thornfield orchard,’ he remarked ere long. ‘And what right would that ruin have to bid a budding woodbine cover its decay with freshness?’
‘You are no ruin, sir- no lightning-struck tree: you are green and vigorous. Plants will grow about your roots, whether you ask them or not, because they take delight in your bountiful shadow; and as they grow they will lean towards you, and wind round you, because your strength offers them so safe a prop.’
Again he smiled: I gave him comfort.
‘You speak of friends, Jane?’ he asked.
‘Yes, of friends,’ I answered rather hesitatingly: for I knew I meant more than friends, but could not tell what other word to employ. He helped me.
‘Ah! Jane. But I want a wife.’
‘Do you, sir?’
‘Yes: is it news to you?’
‘Of course: you said nothing about it before.’
‘Is it unwelcome news?’
‘That depends on circumstances, sir- on your choice.’
‘Which you shall make for me, Jane. I will abide by your decision.’
‘Choose then, sir- her who loves you best.’
‘I will at least choose- her I love best. Jane, will you marry me?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘A poor blind man, whom you will have to lead about by the hand?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘A crippled man, twenty years older than you, whom you will have to wait on?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Truly, Jane?’
‘Most truly, sir.’
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本文作者：简爱
原文链接：Jane Eyre-Chapter 37
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